Anyone who says wedding planning is easy and stress-free is well, fibbing. It's time-consuming. It's overwhelming. It tests your relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's also full of excitement, joy, laughter, love etc. In other words, wedding planning brings out just about every emotion possible for months and months. That being said, I am so glad Therapist Justine Froelker joined us on Great Day yesterday to talk about how to prepare for big life events, like a wedding, as well as crucial conversations couples should have leading up to the big day. Here's a break-down of how she answered our questions. Happy reading....it's worth it....promise!
Oh, and I'll definitely be buying Dr. Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages". Justine says it's a great resource for all couples at any stage of their relationship.
How should a couple prepare for all the good and the bad that comes with big life events, like wedding planning?
- remind one another that this is about the marriage after the grand event of the party - keep perspective of what really matters.
- make sure, just as in all times, to turn towards one another and not away.
- take breaks from the planning - your whole lives cannot get wrapped up in this.
How do couples deal with all of the “outside” opinions in regards to big life events?
- it is your day - but it is also your family's day - there is a balance between the two that only you can determine what is best.
- stand by what your musts are - know what each other's musts are
- Thank you for your opinion, I will consider. Then change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation.
What topics should a couple really make sure to address/talk about before entering the next phase of their live as husband and wife?
- have the difficult conversations now - they do not get easier after the wedding.
- finances, children, holidays,
- most importantly what is your love language!!!!!
Is pre-marital counseling a good idea?
- Absolutely - I also think that if you get it through your church, I personally think it is best for the pastoral staff to have a counseling degree.
- Helps to have the difficult conversations with with a third party to help you navigate.