I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve-so excited about the events to come that I can’t focus on anything else. I can’t sleep, I can’t sit still - all I can think about is the impending arrival of my new baby boy. It consumes my every thought. I’m just so excited to meet this little guy, that I can hardly take the wait anymore. When will he be here? When will I go into labor? Did I just feel a contraction? What’s left on my “Before Beckett To-Do List?” So many thoughts are constantly swirling around in my brain. It’s non-stop!
I’ve played this out in my head a thousand times over the past couple of weeks. Who I need to call, where I need to take my 2-year-old son Jude, what I need to remember to grab as we rush out the door. In my mind, I’m ready. And then there’s that whole delivery thing…that, I’m not so ready for.
Even though this is round two for me, I’m still nervous about the labor and delivery process. I’m hoping and praying that everything goes smoothly. Everyone tells me, “each delivery experience is different,” and I guess that’s what bothers me. If I knew that this delivery would be just like Jude’s, at least I’d know what to expect. But it’s the unknown, the-anything-can-happen-at-anytime scenarios that freak me out. At this point though, I’m so excited to have this baby that my mind doesn’t even go to the what-ifs anymore. I’m way past that – I’m focused on finally getting to hold this baby boy that will finally be here in nine days or less. Now, if I can just keep my mind off of all of this, maybe the time will go by faster. At least that’s what I always tried to do on Christmas Eve.