How To Find The Relationship You Want! -

How To Find The Relationship You Want!

-Remember that no other person can make you happy.  It's your job to identify your own needs and then get them met!


-Notice what you DON'T like in your romantic life.  If you're single, maybe you feel lonely.  If you're in a relationship that's hit a tough spot, you are likely focused on what your partner is doing "wrong."  Go ahead & write down what it is you don't like about your current situation.


-Flip it around.  The great thing about noticing what you don't like is that it can point the way to what you do want.  For every item on your list that is unsatisfactory ("I always meet the wrong kind of man", "my partner doesn't appreciate me", etc.) consider what WOULD make you happy.  Write down what it is you DO want and imagine what it would feel like to have that.   You will end up with a list of qualities that a happy relationship would have. 


-Ask Yourself:  Who Do I Need to Be in Order to Have that Kind of Relationship? Begin living as if you were already having the kind of relationship you want.  How would you behave in your day to day life? Would you be happier? More optimistic? If you are in a relationship now, how would you treat your partner if you were experiencing the life you want? Act as if you were having the love life you want, right now. 


-Notice and appreciate where you already have what you want.  Want more respect? Kindness? Intimacy? Start actively looking for evidence of those qualities in your current life.  The surprisingly deep conversation with the person you just met.  The way your boss acknowledged you at work.  The person who let you go in front of him at the grocery store when you were in a hurry.  If you are in a relationship already, start shifting your focus away from the things you don't like and look for evidence of the connection you desire. 


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