05/15/2009

By GARY DEMUTH  / Associated Press

She was a difficult birth, so it's not surprising her mother named her Stormy.

"Stormy" also describes the Concordia woman's temperament — periods of calm, followed by quiet rumblings that sometimes turn into thunderous outbursts.

Stormy McCall makes no apology for her disposition, particularly when it comes to the welfare of her children — Matthew, 10, Bethany 6, and Madison, 2.

Stormy's "stormy" side mostly is unleashed when Matthew, who has a form of autism called Asperger's syndrome, is mistreated by those who don't understand his condition.

Asperger's is a developmental disorder caused by a neurological condition, according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. Symptoms include impairment in language and communication skills, repetitive or restrictive patterns of thought and behavior, obsessiveness, anxiety and socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior.

Matthew's obsessive and sometimes inappropriate behavior makes him vulnerable to bullying and cruelty, which sends Stormy's motherly instincts into overdrive.

"With Matthew, I learned a lot about myself, because I had to face a lot of battles with him," said Stormy, 35. "When I see people picking on him, a protective side of me comes out."

The worst offenders are not other children.

"The kids he grew up with accept him, so most of my problems are with adults," Stormy said. "There are people in church who have slapped him for being disorderly. No one can do that to Matthew or my other kids. I don't need that. Adults don't need to be picking on children."

Stormy's mother, Terry Corbett, said her daughter has been fighting battles for her family and others since she was a small child.

"She always went against the grain," said Corbett, of Delphos. "If someone said she couldn't do something, she'd tell them she could."

Stormy's stubbornness started at birth. Nine months might be the gestation of a normal pregnancy, but Corbett said Stormy was determined to arrive early. She was three months premature, "and real tough to get here," Corbett said.

Hence, her name.

"Everyone asks me if that's a nickname, but it's not," said Stormy, who also has a brother named Sunny.

Stormy was only 15 and a student at White Rock High School at Burr Oak when she met 19-year-old Jeff McCall, a student at Cloud County Community College studying to be a registered nurse.

The couple married in August 1991, soon after Stormy had turned 18.

They spent the next eight years trying to start a family, but infertility problems made it difficult for Stormy to become pregnant.

So 10 years ago, they adopted a baby boy, whom they named Matthew.

"My mom wasn't able to have kids, and my two older brothers were adopted," said Jeff McCall, 39, a registered nurse at Clay County Medical Center in Clay Center. "After my parents were married 15 years, they had me. It's interesting how our marriage paralleled theirs."

When Matthew was just 2, Stormy was given the shocking news that she was pregnant.

"We weren't supposed to be able to have kids at all," she said.

Bethany was born in May 2002. To add to the shock, four years later, Stormy became pregnant with a second daughter, Madison, born in December 2006.

True to form, Stormy's pregnancies both were storm-filled. She developed gestational diabetes and was put on insulin during her last pregnancy. Although her diabetes disappeared after giving birth, Stormy said another pregnancy would be a health risk both for her and the unborn child.

"We originally wanted to have five kids," Stormy said. "But three is a good number."

For several years, Matthew appeared to be an ordinary child, albeit one who read obsessively and liked to stay in his room by himself.

As he got older, however, Matthew began exhibiting unusual behavior, such as being terrified by certain animals (like elephants) and bursting into tears at loud noises.

At age 7, he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. The McCalls, who had already researched Asperger's on the Internet, weren't surprised.

"It seemed like such a match for him," Jeff McCall said.

"Matthew was repetitive, disjointed and kept repeating words until he would get the whole thought out," Stormy said. "He'd have flashes of temper and meltdowns if he didn't get his way. It was a flip of a switch, no medium ground — either we're happy or we're angry.

"He has a lot of anxiety, a lot of fear. If a car comes down the street, he'll run and hide until the car passes by. He also has an obsessiveness toward machines and toys, especially Transformers."

After the diagnosis, the McCalls threw themselves into autism research and advocacy.

Together, they went to Topeka to testify before the State Senate Committee in an effort to get insurance coverage for parents with autistic children.

They also began to work with teachers and administrators in Concordia to develop an individualized education and behavioral plan to help Matthew succeed in a public school environment.

"It's a plan just for Matthew," Stormy said. "It's a team of people — teachers, principals, counselors and parents — who get together and design a plan to implement for the child."

Advocating for Matthew's educational needs hasn't always made Stormy the most popular of mothers.

"It's hard with educators because they feel this is their area of expertise, and they don't like parental interference," she said. "But I'm the one who needs to speak up for Matthew. He's vulnerable and doesn't understand sarcasm or cruel talk, or nonverbal looks.

"I have to protect him, stand up for him and educate people on how to treat him. It doesn't matter if I'm not popular. My job is to be his mother."

Matthew's sisters, young as they are, accept his condition, even if Madison really is too young to understand fully, Stormy said.

Bethany, on the other hand, "is Matthew's best friend," Stormy said. "She's an amazing, responsible 6-year-old with a good head on her shoulders. I know with Bethany, she'll always take care of him."

Matthew regularly sees a doctor in Topeka, who manages his medications. The McCall family members also see a counselor once a week through Youthville, one of the largest nonprofit child welfare agencies in Kansas. It specializes in foster care, adoption, counseling and therapy.

Jim Lund, the McCalls' Concordia-based therapist, said he tries to identify the sources of Matthew's behavioral challenges, then devises avenues to keep Matthew calm and focused.

"We need to recognize his fixations, things he gets stuck on, and use them as a motivating goal," Lund said. "If he needs to do something he doesn't want to do, we may offer him time with his Transformers if he will learn a new task. Matthew is very intelligent and capable of many things, so you have to be on guard or he'll get ahead of you."

Matthew is lucky to have attentive, hardworking parents, Lund said, and a fierce and loyal advocate in his mother, Stormy.

"She's remarkable in the way she's coordinated services for this child," he said. "From school to doctors, everyone's working on the same page. She's a very determined person and full of questions. That's a positive thing. And if Matthew has a meltdown, she knows exactly how to calm him down. He trusts her."

Stormy currently is a stay-at-home mother, but both she and her husband have gone back to school. He's studying for a business administration degree through Kansas Wesleyan University, while she's working toward a degree in elementary education at Cloud County Community College.

"It's always been a goal of mine (to teach)," Stormy said.

Corbett said the way Stormy balances her life, marriage and responsibilities to her children has been an inspiration to her.

"She's showed me that there are battles worth fighting," Corbett said of her daughter.

When things get overwhelming or aren't going well with Matthew, Stormy said, she reminds herself what's really important in life.

"It's stressful when you have all these things going on, but when (my kids) say 'I love you Mommy,' I know they're thinking about me, and that makes me feel so good," Stormy said. "I wouldn't be a mom without them."