Forgive me for the sensational headline but this is the thought going through my head since I had an ultrasound one week ago. As well as the thought, “Am I having three, two, one or none??”
I know most people wouldn’t dare spill the beans until the end of the first trimester but I have a big mouth and A LOT of questions. I also know that other women out there may be going through the same thing and I hope they may be able to find some comfort by reading about my experience.
So. I am 37..and a half.. years old. My husband and I decided we would try for child number two in late January. We don’t want to have kids when we are 40, we want our one year old son to have a sibling..and I wanted to wait for the holidays and football season to be over. ..I know, the last one is a lame excuse but it’s the truth.
Well, I went off the pill in November and boom! Right away. Took a test on New Year’s Eve and it came up positive. Then I got super sick with bronchitis and the flu back to back. Because of that my OBGYN wanted to see me early. I had an ultrasound at what I thought was 6 weeks.
I knew it may be too early to see a heartbeat and I also know that my age means my chance of having twins has risen every year since I turned 35. My husband didn’t believe me until the ultrasound.
During the actual ultrasound I kept focusing on Jason’s face hoping it would light up at the sight of our little poppy seed (that’s our nickname). But it never did. Instead he looked confused. When we asked the ultrasound technician she said we would have to wait for the doctor. Right away, I’m thinking, “There is no baby.”
Well, then we see the doctor. He says. He did not see the “fetal pole” which is the baby. And says he is not worried because it measures to be 5 weeks and 3 days and he says I do see a yolk sac so this is perfectly normal for this stage. And then he points out two more sacs. And says these are also what we believe to be gestational sacs. *Gasp*, heart drops..husband turns white. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????
He says because the other two do not have a yolk sac and look much smaller they are most likely going to be absorbed by my body. But it is possible that when we do the next ultrasound they too will have something inside. Unlikely, but possible.
Come back in ten days and we will see.
I am three days away from finding out but for the last seven I have been googling like nobody’s business.
Apparently this is more common that most people think. They call it the “Vanishing Twin Syndrome” It’s seen in women who get really early ultrasounds but the sacs usually are absorbed by the end of the first trimester. Meaning a lot of women may have started off with twins or multiples and never known. In fact, one website says some medical experts suspect as many as 1 out of every 8 pregnancies start off this way.
I am on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I am worried there won’t be any heartbeat Thursday. The next, I am worried there will be three. It is possible the others just implanted later. Then I feel guilty. I don’t want to wish any baby didn’t make it but I don’t really want a party of three coming to see me in mid September either.
I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, I am praying and trying to keep busy with meaningless DIY craft projects so I will stop obsessing and looking up scary things on the internet.