If you came here for inspiration, you'll be disappointed. I'm here to lay it all out there and it isn't pretty. I'm writing this on the eve of an interview I am doing on Great Day St Louis with a behavioral psychologist. The topic on the show: "how to spend quality time with your child" and as I write this, I can hear my 18 month old crying himself to sleep.
We're in a fight. He decided to turn into a different child tonight and I don't know what to do with him. He screams at me. As in, looks at me and screams as loud as he can if he can't get his way. I'm tired and as I just told my husband, I feel "watered" down. Like I'm so spread out that everyone is just getting the watered down version. But the worst part is that I feel like I am giving it my all.
I'm trying so hard to do my job by reporting and hosting and being pleasant..but it's not coming across that way at all. Ask my producers. Ha! Better yet, ask my co-host Kent. In the last four days we've hosted together he's jokingly told our studio guests to "watch out, she's in a mood."
At home, I'm trying to be the good mom and spend time with my son and be patient- but I'm not. Ask Riggs...well not now because he just stopped crying ;)
I'm a horrible friend. I haven't talked to a girlfriend outside of work in weeks...and wife? Well my husband just said I was awesome but look how I paid him back, I went downstairs to blog and pout. GRRRRRRRR
Don't get me wrong I am so grateful and I love my life..but what do you do when you try so hard you feel like you failed in every area of your life? I have received so much from God lately and yet I feel like I am letting Him down too by.. sulking.
How does a mom acquire balance?